Ok... I'm gonna slowly try to rebuild my DA life.


*~Read to the end!! more news at the end, including details about my new manga idea, and theme songs!!~*



One brick at a time, I'm gonna rebuild what used to be a mighty wall by the name of "Super being an artist and living on dA." It was smashed to bits but I can't let it remain that way, and I'm gonna try to restart and rebuild.

Here are all the things I used to do:

1. draw my manga, DreamGuy: The Power Of A Pencil (and post it on DA)
2. draw other random anime drawings (and post them on DA)
3. comment on journals/polls
4. comment on art (and return comments made to me)

Is that it? I think so. Yep, that's it.

I like to do ALL FOUR OF THESE THINGS. And I like to do them almost every day. I did that, and without realizing it, made a COMMITMENT. I would hate to only do two or three of these things. If I'm gonna do one, I'm gonna do all four. That's the way I am. And that's why I haven't been active here OR DRAWN ANYTHING since august 29th.

(please see previous journal!!!)

One reason is because of time. When college started, classes and homework piled on... and the constant several-minute walks to class and the dining hall, and the frequent weekend drives to and from home... those minutes add up, and that's why I have been pressed for time. Initially, I thought that that was the reason I stopped drawing/being on DA. (yes, if you haven't realized by now, for me, drawing and being active on DA go hand-in-hand.) Doing all four of those things takes up a lot of time, right? So I didn't have time to do all four of those things. So I started pushing them off. College started August 17th, and I was still drawing the hundredth page of DGPP and White Rose, Blue Rose. But I slowed down, and after finishing those two things and finally making a deviantID, I was too busy to draw! and that means too busy to come to DA, too.


The other reason, I realized later on, was stress. I realized that I actually had more free time than I thought. (I just spent it doing other internet things instead of the four above.) But I can't draw when I'm stressed, and college took a huge emotional toll on me. (from confusing things to lots of work to missing my friends/ not making any new ones) I wasn't emotionally well enough to draw. I didn't want to draw anymore. Stress+ time were the two factors of why I completely cut the four things out of my life indefinitely. (again, I SLOWED DOWN. I did not suddenly stop doing these things. don't think i planned a hiatus from the beginning.)

I was afraid. I was afraid that if I started to draw or comment again, Something Would Come Up and I'd be busy and have to stop again, and I'd disappoint people, and upset myself, a second time. (and a third time, and a fourth...) Remember that I said this stuff is a commitment? There you go. That's the way I feel, like I need to make a commitment and stick to it. Either do all four things, or none at all. I would hate to do only two or three, remember?

So I gave up. I didn't draw at all, and didn't come here. But I started to think that maybe I need to fight my natural desire to go all-or-nothing. I thought, instead of something suddenly changing in my life and I do the four things regularly again, maybe I need to instead start slowly and gradually lead into it. That's why I describe it as slowly building a brick wall.

If I draw DGPP, I'll wanna draw other stuff. If I draw other stuff, I'll wanna continue DGPP. If I comment on journals, I'll be curious about the artwork. If I comment on artwork, I'll miss out on recent happenings in others' lives. If I comment and not draw, I'll be inspired and want to suddenly draw a lot of things. If I draw and not comment, I'll feel isolated. If I draw and comment, I'll be overwhelmed. Drawing and commenting=doing all 4 things, remember?

I had to decide on SOMETHING... I was in a lose-lose situation. No matter what I did, it came with a drawback.
That's right, everything's not solved yet. Many of these things I've talked about, they're still going on. I'm still scared that something will go wrong and cause me to stop. But anyway, here's what I've decided to do:


I'm gonna go with DreamGuy. My friend was telling me about how she misses reading it. At first i was leaning toward commenting on the artwork of others but not anymore. (see how hard it was to decide?!!)


I wish I had time to look at everybody's art but I don't. So give me links to two of the best things you've drawn in the past 2 months and I'll look and comment!


Now about dreamguy... the new page isn't coming today/tonight. I need to reread everything I've done and then go over the plans I've made for the story. Let me reflect a little bit!
Another thing, I have no idea how often the pages will come out. That's why i was so afraid to continue dgpp right now. so be warned.

current inbox:
1,522 deviations
370 messages
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WAAAAARGH


Lastly, THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO STILL CARES ABOUT ME AND MY ART after my depressing absence.


other news:

1. see my previous journal. I have a thing where you ask me questions and I answer them in a VIDEO!! But please post ?'s in the forum I created.

2. I just created a twitter account! look at my da profile page to see it. MY USERNAME MIGHT SHOCK YOU. =O

3. Look at me in my costume! I wear heavy makeup and pretend to be Chinese!!
[link]
my profile pic: Share this photo with anyone by sending them this public link:
[link]

4. MY NEXT MANGA!!!
In the summer I got an idea for a new manga. I MIGHT NOT DO IT, it's just an idea.
It's one or two chapters, i will post the entire thing at once. like Frozen Love.
It takes place in the winter (maybe Christmas, not sure) in a big city. The main character is a 17-year-old girl named Suleta Varone. She is a rich girl like Henrietta from DGPP, but she is the complete opposite. Henrietta is sweet and loveable. Suleta is unemotional, intimidating, and somewhat conceited and cold-hearted. She is smart and can sing and play the piano. She is a model and has been in beauty pageants. She has almost no friends and she lives alone with her mom, and they are both workaholics.
The boy I have not named yet. His family is pretty poor. He is also 17. He plays the saxophone (or maybe violin??) and he stands at street corners and plays for tips. He is a wild, free spirit, an optimistic dreamer. You can see where this is going. He and Suleta meet each other and of course their opposite personalities clash. What is the result? Tune in to find out!!
It's not a comedy. It's dramatic and very pretty and sweet, like Arina Tanemura's manga. <333

These are the songs that I am deciding between for theme songs:
"Secret" by Maki Goto. Sounds perfect, and the parts like 1:08 look like Suleta! [link]
"Pride" by Ayumi Hamasaki. I love the sound of the song of course, but OMG, Ayu looks like a human form of what I imagine Su to look like. Especially at what is my favorite part: the beginning, where she at first seems to be not paying attention but then she calmly looks at the camera and sings. OMG. [link]
"How to use Sexy: by Maki Goto. The sound of the song describes Su's personality perfectly. [link]

Clubs: and there are a couple more... -__-U